Those Annoying Transitions of Life.

Fall is one of my favorite times of year.  It's so full of action both seen and unseen, and is the place holder of a new beginnings as well as a fading of what was and will never be again. 

Plants in my garden have been frosted and some will die and the seeds are being spread around.  Other plants are only losing their blossoms, stems and leaves but when I pull those up I see nice fat tubers that I am storing away in the cellar for that new beginning I spoke of.

Change and progression are one of the basics of living life but as humans we tend to fear the changes of life.

Not only does our conscious fear the changes often but according to what I learned in a seminar on the dynamics of the brain, our brain fears change!

If I am about to change myself there are ways that support change and ways of encountering that that sets up a reaction in the brain.

The brain can experience a direct attempt at changing it as a threat.  As such, the fight/flight reaction is triggered and chemicals are released that among other reactions tend to shut down the prefrontal lobe to focus on the "battle" at hand.

So thus the way to encounter my brain with a new habit or new way of being is to simply in peace, and with love for myself, start to learn a new way of living life or being and ignore the other unwanted habit or habits and thus not activate the reactive responses of the brain. 

So, living in peace become not just a way of being with others but a way of "living" with ourselves.

Gently and in fact lovingly noticing those habits or way of living that may have supported us in the past but are not working well now.

Often we need others around us to be with us in this process.  A friend or a community can support us in the upset and confusion that may result from suspending certain ways of thinking or acting and integrating new ways of thinking and acting.

Those friends can love us through those wintery seasons of change and casting off until there is the new birth of something else fresh and new on the other side.

Some of us go through a very severe shift in who we are in life. Usually that shift has to do with all areas of life but sometimes it starts in a particular area, such as relationships not working at all, or breakdowns in the relationship repeating, and sometimes this shift has to do with our spirituality. 

Regarding how our friends can be with us in this often very painful and deep shift;

~ some people don't get it and they resist it for whatever reason.
~Some people don't get it but they stick with you and are with you in it even in their not understanding.
~And then there are people who understand it because they are there or have been through it.

It's interesting that all of life really is and has to be a certain fluidity to it to live it well.

That fluidity is what some people fear. Ironically especially if they are Christians and believe in the powerful goodness of God. They don't seem to trust the human spirit to take care of its self, and they don't seen to trust the hand of God in their life.

That may not be too surprising because many times people's personal dysfunction has become intermingled with the dysfunctions of religious systems and beliefs. So when they start the healing process of the spirit that process may understandable shift how they relate to religion.

What often happens is that the person shifts to a deeper and more intimate relationship with God thus emphasizing spirituality. 

Conversations from an egotistical, self-righteous malcontent.

I'm thinking about having been called a self-righteous, egotistical malcontent because of my involvement in a committee (Veritas) given the mandate to consider how vital a church we are. (Just for the record, this is not new feedback and is something about myself I'm committed to noticing and stopping).
An interesting point to consider here is that for anyone to even be willing to air an opinion, (even if it's wrong) they must have some strength of ego and the committee would De facto be a waste of time if the mandate included being happy with what was going on now.
The tension here is that even if I am all of the above, I still sincerely believe that something more is possible for our church and that to have that "new something" it's entirely possible that the old has to be interrupted.
The irony is that a major concern of mine with our church is our inability to communicate well. To illustrate the point, I indirectly found out that someone had the above candid opinion of me and others in the committee.

In having a lot of communication with others, two people have had a fair amount of energy in those conversations with me about "triangulation" (using a third party to communicate something to another) such that I'm making up that possibly those two people have been talking about my supposed inclination to "triangulate" which I find amusing. And frankly I'm aware that writing this blog may actually be a indirect way of communicating because in some settings here it feels like moving through very thick molasses to communicate clearly directly tho I am doing better at that.
I think the first rule to remember in anything we do is to not "take ourselves to damn seriously". Usually that posture of heart shows an insecurity that we probably don't want to own up to.
I just came out of a church meeting that really was momentous and really tragic. After over 200 years of being in the meeting house on the common, (pictured above) we, the congregation, voted to do what we said we would do and leave when our lease is up in April.
In essence we were forced to leave because of a group in town using the power of another national group, Americans United for Separation of Church and State, wanted the selectmen to dictate what our policies were.
What was good about the meeting was that there was more honest questions and considerations than I think in any previous meeting. This made it a unusually uncomfortable meeting for me because in my family of origin nothing was talked about openly and honestly and I'm still learning that direct, clear, challenging, investigative discussions are not "bad".
I attribute some of the new ability to state opinions and voice concerns being a result of the meetings of the Veritas committee and a new feeling of empowerment to speak honestly about what is really so. Thus probably the not surprising assessment that people are being self righteous and egotistical. I probably have been that way in this.
I don't think I was the only one uncomfortable with the strength of conversation because others voiced the opinion that what was going on was "discouraging and lacked a sense of hope". Others apparently felt like the Devil was involved and others may have thought God wasn't paying good attention to what was going on because they thought we needed to stop and pray. Or maybe that was their way of cautioning people to remember God was watching.
Any of the above may certainly have been true but personally I think we are a powerful group of followers of God and that we can have honest, forthright, even disagreeing conversations and that those might actually be a sign of a vital, growing church.