Rob Bell and my family, a parable

My kids don't have to struggle to be my kids that I love so much. They don't have to do anything. If they want to participate in that relationship all they have to do is rest in being my kids. I don't require that they love me, though I like that, they don't have to do special practices altho hey, if they give me a little red two-seater as I have requested, I'd love it.

I haven't given them a booklet on how to maintain that family relationship because thankfully at some point we developed a healthy "spirit" of the family that they can either grow in or grow away from. I'm not even requiring that Scott love me the same way Tim does, and I certainly don't need Jenny to keep track of Jesse's way of being with me.

As we love each other, our being with each other will grow and develop and change if it needs to, to allow us to continue to love each other in ways that work.

Are there specific ways of being and doing that will enhance the relationship? Yup! Could we develop and use a booklet to enhance the growth of love in the family? Sure enough.

But without referencing the "spirit" of the family, even following the instructions in that booklet won't produce more closeness in fact it could lead to disjointedness.

I have to wonder if part of the enjoyment of my family is that I just plain and simply think my kids are the best. Thinking of them, and the fact that they are where they are, just gives me pleasure.

Feelings, nothing more than feelings?

A friend and I had another installment of a long running conversation regarding theology and it's application to humans. This seems important to us because a theology that doesn't somehow reference humans is sterile. It may be true, it may be useful, it may give glory to the divine but if somehow it doesn't touch the human condition it's merely an esoteric discussion without any chance of transformation of people's lives.

I would submit that the subject of my theology, God, is about having relationship with humans.

When I said this in one online forum, I got a terse reply; "state Scripture, chapter and verse."

I choose to ignore him and he still wants an answer. It seemed so obvious that it would be insulting to him and me to respond.

One reason the discussion with my friend is interesting is that we by our personalities and life histories are interested in different aspects of truth. He seems to want to get as clear as possible regarding rational, conceptual, dialectic truth.

I on the other hand want to know "truth" in the sense of how does it express God's personal love for humans. I want to understand the implications of rational, conceptual truth as it would be "felt" by humans.

This will come as no surprise to friends of mine that are clear that "feelings" are a focus of mine. (all together now; Whoooo, feelings, nothing more than... )

Certainly guilty as charged. But for me the connection between "truth" and feelings is compelling because for some reason I didn't have much connection with my feelings for much of my life. And I was strongly taught in "truth." This state of mind became painful and I deconstructed and started to rebuild my life. Recovering the ability to "feel" was an important part of this.

This conversation with this friend is important to me because as much as I value feelings because God said he "so loved the world" and I think he expects that love to be felt, ultimately there is truth that undergirds that love.

Love and truth support each other.

If there is anything to the quote; "The glory of God is man fully alive," than thinking and feeling are partners in that delicate dance.

Wide streets and strip malls

I've been visiting my son and daughter in Colorado. They both live with homes all round them with very little interaction with whoever lives near them. They and their neighbors live near ubiquitous 5 lane streets that quickly lead them to strip mall heaven.

To get exercise and my morning coffee at both homes I walk about 5 blocks to either a 7-11 or MacDonald's. This experience is almost surreal because I meet no one else walking. One morning I said hello to the Asian lady who works at the liquor store nearby as she brought her trash container in from the curb, but otherwise I felt that I was somehow perhaps out of sync with the rest of the world by being out there walking.

I do the same routine in Greenfield as well, with the same feeling of being "weird" for being out of my car. I recently read in some novel the opinion that something died when the first Ford car was invented. Somewhat to my surprise I'm finding that I am turning into some kind of reactionary to civilization as we know it. Now I don't want to live back in the woods and grow a beard and not use deodorant you understand, I guess I'm just reacting to the depersonalization and commercialization all around us.

In Henri Nouwen's amazing book, "Reaching Out" he speaks of being able to enjoy a personal sense of solitude even in the midst of this environment. In fact he believes it essential and a gift to those who are trapped without awareness of this for there to be people who can be " in the world but not of it". So I'm realizing that instead of complaining and resisting the culture I am in, I can be in to world really loving anyone I meet and wondering how God is making himself know to that person.

I believe that it doesn't matter how we get into relationship with others, what matters is that we be clear from the start that we know very little or nothing about some one's relationship with God. My assumption is that God is always in some relationship with every person so my task is to effectively come alongside whatever God is doing in that person's life.

Sometimes I wonder if we followers of Christ are more alienated from God than the average person on the street. At least holding that assumption as truth means I enter every encounter with every human from a position of curiosity and respect even to the point of wondering if they might have some healing of the alienation from God that can exist in my life!

It seems that much of what we Christians present to the world is all about our opinions, our judgements, our agendas. If it's the Holy Spirit's responsibility to bring conviction then I'm left with the responsibility to love God and then love my neighbor in whatever way feels like love to them. Even if it means I get over my aversion to strip malls and commercialisation, get out and really be with people.